As the incomparable Etta James sang, and ooo it must be love. Yet, this isn’t about loving anyone but myself at this moment. You know they say when you hit rock bottom, you know the only way to go is up? What they don’t tell you, though, is that beneath the rock of the bottom, there is still the threat of a molten lava core that can just as easily burn you just as bad as your body thumping on the rocky bottom will . Especially when you are in this pit through no fault of your own.
Ahh, one may wonder, isn’t that just dodging responsibility? In this case, being the responsible one is what landed me in this pit. Being the adult, caring for an adult who obviously doesn’t get one rat’s ass or a flying fuck about themselves can bring you to your rock bottom. So no, being responsible, respectful and optimistic is what got me here.
So how do you get out? A bottle of whiskey and a few cigars later, I’m finding and figuring that out. As I tap my nails on the coffee table, my inspiration to climb out is not wanting to see myself drown. I like myself too much to let go of my life. I’m tired of holding my tongue, so I won’t. I’m tired of being the adult who has to always wipe the irrational spittle from the mouth of an idiot. My life is too precious to be more worried about their poor choices and lack of accountability than my own sanity . Since exiting isn’t an option, I have my time to disassociate, and form a battle plan. But first, we drink. Cheers to the end of the cycle of bullshit.
Something’s got a hold of me, and it has kept me from falling down into the pit of despair. This world, and the chaos it brings was enough to wake me up and stop letting someone else dictate my happiness. The appeal and the perk of being an author/writer is that you do have some control over characters of your own making. “Write the vision, and make it plain, so that he who sees it may run with it.”
Well I’m writing my own vision, I am making it plain and to quote Kurt Russel in Tombstone “Tell ’em the law is coming.You tell ’em I’m coming, and hell’s coming with me”.
Cheers!
Confessions of the Authoress Mind 